The basis for all grief and mourning is attachment.
Attachment and dependence occur when we feel incomplete within ourselves.
It causes us to seek outside fulfillment, from people, relationships, belongings, status…ect
Because we use these to fulfill our inner needs they become part of your identity.
Hi my name is x, I am married with 3 kids, I work for a bank and I have 2 dogs.
What kind of identity is that?
What happens to x, when the kids grow? her job changes? Or one of the dogs pass?
The identity is shifted and a sense a identity loss is felt.
The question is have they actually lost themselves….no? There foundations should still be the same. They are still smart, funny, strong…or whatever the makeup of their personal characteristics.
The sense of loss is caused by the individuals identity being based around outside factors.
Your identity should not be shaped by what you own or what you do, but by who you are.
You are not your job. You are a driven, analytical person (lets say). Your job is what you do to express this. Not who you are.
By creating an identity that is based on your personality (aka who you are), attachment and dependence is reduced and grief is lessened.
Another way to reduce grief is by accepting the loss of things earlier on, rather then denying them.
Unfortunately we are likely to outlive our pet, our favourite jumper and sadly our parents.
By accepting this as fact, it reduces the blow when the event actually happens.
This doesn’t mean turning cold to it, it just means opening our eyes to it.
One day we are going to have to face these things and by allowing our self to embrace that we reduce the overwhelming hurt we may latter feel.
If you are having a hard time with letting go of grief, I highly recommend inquiring about a three week coaching program to release negative emotions and limiting beliefs. This will not only help you let go of a lot of the things that are holding you back but will also teach you how to do yourself, should an issue arise again in the future.
This can be conducted over skype or in person.
For a coaching session please email firstname.lastname@example.org or see the contacts tab. I would also highly recommend reading the book Letting Go – The Pathway of Surrender by David R Hawkins.